That's right, struggling free to air channels, I've done all the hard work for you.You just need to make this bad boy happen and watch that cash money roll in.
It's called Tuck Shop Wars, My Tuck Shop Rules or Master Tuck Shop depending on which network has the winning bid (because, you know, they'll all be fighting it out to get on this gravy train to big advertising dollars).
The basic premise is - you get a bunch of struggling school tuck shops (or canteens, we're not fancy here) and pit them against each other to see who can pimp out their lunch lady operation the most by the big grand finale episode.
Of course, we'll get to hear all about each tuck shop's sad personal back story and feel a tiny pang of remorse as each week the tuck shop that fails to impress is eliminated and quickly forgotten about.
Until one glorious tuck shop reigns supreme over all others, does a three month tuck shop national tour and then is forced to spend the rest of its days in the abyss of reality TV stardom listening to Shannon Noll ask 'what about me?' (We know it isn't fair. Nollsy).
AND to help these floundering school tuck shops get up to scratch - you send in a bunch of ex Masterchef and My Kitchen Rules contestants, who are just gagging for another 15 seconds of fame, as mentors.
There's plenty of them. I'm pretty sure Ash and Camilla from My Kitchen Rules circa 2015 would jump at the chance to depart their wisdom on those less fortunate than them (cough, everyone).
And there will be drama galore, people, drama galore.
Those nifty TV producers won't have to do much before the tuck shop factions start to butt heads. We're talking the white bread faction sabotaging the green wrap faction's bid to start offering chia puddings at little lunch.
We're talking the green wrap faction banning tomato sauce causing the white bread faction to go into full campaign mode and start handing out free sausage rolls to every kid who pledges to stand behind them in the great #tomatosaucegate debate.
And just when the whole operation goes into total meltdown with sweet chilli chicken wraps being launched liked missiles across the canteen and tuck shop lady arms jiggling wildly while Pink Floyd's 'Another brick in the wall' builds to a deafening volume in the background, Julie Goodwin will enter like the arch angel of culinary goodness to save the day.
With her rag-tag bunch of one-time reality TV stars, she'll have those tuck shop tyrants dishing out award-winning deconstructed paleo meat pies and edible flowers granola bars in no time.
How could this not work people?
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